So these past few days my ears have been stopped up. People would talk to me, I wouldn’t hear them. I would try to watch TV or listen to the radio, and with some extra volume I could make myself hear it but probably at the expense to those around me. Sounds that I could somewhat hear out of one ear would somehow come across as if they were coming from the opposite direction than they really where [I may or may not have been turning in circles trying to figure out where the ding of the elevator was coming from]. But lucky for me, and the potential frustration of others having to repeat themselves, I spent most of my days in my office. I didn’t come into contact with a lot of people, but I definitely had some reflecting time.
I’m the type of person who likes to stay busy, especially at work. Having nothing to do makes the day just drag on and on, which is partially why I have had a couple of back to back blogs lately. But anyways, sometimes I get so caught up in the day to day tasks that I forget why I’m really here and who I am here to serve and glorify. And that I think is what I realized most over the last couple of days.
Back in April of 2010 I lost my voice. Now you are probably thinking, oh you just had a cold and were a little horse. No, like I LOST my voice! It was gone! No squeak, no whisper, basically if you wanted to hear me you just better be good at lip reading. And this lasted ooooh probably a good 9 days before a squeak would even come back. But there was a good and bad thing about this situation.
The bad thing was that this was the week of Phi Lamb elections. And with elections, I had to meet with the Treasurer nominees and explain the position in detail – [challenge]. I had to interview all the nominees during the election in front of all the actives – [didn’t happen]. And finally I was running for President. So that interview I was supposed to give to the Treasurers was now given to me. Yes I did have a microphone, but it was useless because obviously a microphone can’t pick up sound that isn’t there. So I had a translator that sat by me, read my lips, and told the actives what she thought I said. [If you have ever tried to explain something with every 5-10 words being repeated right after you say them, you can relate – kind of distracting.]
But here comes the good thing! So right before elections started that night, my best friend came up and handed me this verse Mark 13:11 that said “…don’t worry about what you will say. Say whatever God tells you at the time. It will not really be you speaking. It will be the Holy Spirit.” It was a very powerful verse that made me realize that when I do get to speak again to let God speak through me and let him lead my life. He was trying to get my attention and have me stop speaking and just listen. And basically, I didn’t have a choice, listening was all I could do. I grew closer to God, learned to lean and rely on him more, and learned how to listen to others in a new and powerful way.
Song of Songs 2:13- The fig trees are forming young fruit, and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming. Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one!
So back to this week with the loss of hearing. As soon as I woke up and realized I couldn’t hear my thought went right back to April 2010. And I thought to myself, okay God, what kind of lesson are we going for now? I could still talk, I just couldn’t listen. But once again listening was part of it. God had removed my hearing from the physical standards and blocked out the day to day noise, which definitely made me more aware of what I say on a regular basis. You know when you listen back to a recording of yourself you say, that can’t be me! I don’t sound like that! Well when I spoke that is what I heard, myself. I not only heard my thoughts but I heard my words. Which made me realize how easy it is to overpower a conversation with my own thoughts and experiences, rather than taking the time to listen to others.
You honestly can really learn a lot from listening – two tests down and I’m starting to fully understand that. During these past few days I stretched myself to listen hard to others. To really focus on their life stories and comprehend every word they said. I also had more God time. I was able to get back on track with Him and through my readings I rediscovered that the closer I walk with God, the more that God can bless others through me. God wants that time with me and he will go to whatever extent he needs to, to make that known, obviously he has fully proven that! I think in the day to day schedules God tends to get pushed off to the side until we have the “right” time to spend with him, when really he is yelling at us to pay attention to what He is trying to tell us now.
Acts 17:27-28- His purpose was for the nations to seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him- though he is not far from any one of us. For in him we live and move and exist. As some of your own poets have said “we are his offspring”.
So yesterday afternoon, I went to this hearing aid audiology place to get my ears looked at. [Of course I’m the youngest one there by a good 50-60 years]. As I was sitting in the waiting room I felt like everyone was talking at a normal level, nothing crazy which surprised me for a room full of old people that can’t hear. So I went back, they cleaned out my ears, and I walked out and felt like everyone was screaming!! They all looked the same as when I left, but apparently they were all in the same boat as I was in coming into it. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself and thank God for my hearing and the constant reminder that he wants to talk to me, be with me, and guide me daily. The book Jesus Calling says, “God is far more real than the world you can see, hear and touch. Faith is the confirmation of things we do not see and conviction of their reality, perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses.”
Hebrews 11:1- Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.
It’s time now to listen.
No comments:
Post a Comment