Attention Please

So these past few days my ears have been stopped up. People would talk to me, I wouldn’t hear them. I would try to watch TV or listen to the radio, and with some extra volume I could make myself hear it but probably at the expense to those around me. Sounds that I could somewhat hear out of one ear would somehow come across as if they were coming from the opposite direction than they really where [I may or may not have been turning in circles trying to figure out where the ding of the elevator was coming from]. But lucky for me, and the potential frustration of others having to repeat themselves, I spent most of my days in my office. I didn’t come into contact with a lot of people, but I definitely had some reflecting time.

I’m the type of person who likes to stay busy, especially at work. Having nothing to do makes the day just drag on and on, which is partially why I have had a couple of back to back blogs lately. But anyways, sometimes I get so caught up in the day to day tasks that I forget why I’m really here and who I am here to serve and glorify. And that I think is what I realized most over the last couple of days.

Back in April of 2010 I lost my voice. Now you are probably thinking, oh you just had a cold and were a little horse. No, like I LOST my voice! It was gone! No squeak, no whisper, basically if you wanted to hear me you just better be good at lip reading. And this lasted ooooh probably a good 9 days before a squeak would even come back. But there was a good and bad thing about this situation.

The bad thing was that this was the week of Phi Lamb elections. And with elections, I had to meet with the Treasurer nominees and explain the position in detail – [challenge]. I had to interview all the nominees during the election in front of all the actives – [didn’t happen]. And finally I was running for President. So that interview I was supposed to give to the Treasurers was now given to me. Yes I did have a microphone, but it was useless because obviously a microphone can’t pick up sound that isn’t there. So I had a translator that sat by me, read my lips, and told the actives what she thought I said. [If you have ever tried to explain something with every 5-10 words being repeated right after you say them, you can relate – kind of distracting.]

But here comes the good thing! So right before elections started that night, my best friend came up and handed me this verse Mark 13:11 that said “…don’t worry about what you will say. Say whatever God tells you at the time. It will not really be you speaking. It will be the Holy Spirit.” It was a very powerful verse that made me realize that when I do get to speak again to let God speak through me and let him lead my life. He was trying to get my attention and have me stop speaking and just listen. And basically, I didn’t have a choice, listening was all I could do. I grew closer to God, learned to lean and rely on him more, and learned how to listen to others in a new and powerful way.

Song of Songs 2:13- The fig trees are forming young fruit, and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming. Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one!

So back to this week with the loss of hearing. As soon as I woke up and realized I couldn’t hear my thought went right back to April 2010. And I thought to myself, okay God, what kind of lesson are we going for now? I could still talk, I just couldn’t listen. But once again listening was part of it. God had removed my hearing from the physical standards and blocked out the day to day noise, which definitely made me more aware of what I say on a regular basis. You know when you listen back to a recording of yourself you say, that can’t be me! I don’t sound like that! Well when I spoke that is what I heard, myself. I not only heard my thoughts but I heard my words. Which made me realize how easy it is to overpower a conversation with my own thoughts and experiences, rather than taking the time to listen to others.

You honestly can really learn a lot from listening – two tests down and I’m starting to fully understand that. During these past few days I stretched myself to listen hard to others. To really focus on their life stories and comprehend every word they said. I also had more God time. I was able to get back on track with Him and through my readings I rediscovered that the closer I walk with God, the more that God can bless others through me. God wants that time with me and he will go to whatever extent he needs to, to make that known, obviously he has fully proven that! I think in the day to day schedules God tends to get pushed off to the side until we have the “right” time to spend with him, when really he is yelling at us to pay attention to what He is trying to tell us now.

Acts 17:27-28- His purpose was for the nations to seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him- though he is not far from any one of us. For in him we live and move and exist. As some of your own poets have said “we are his offspring”.

So yesterday afternoon, I went to this hearing aid audiology place to get my ears looked at. [Of course I’m the youngest one there by a good 50-60 years]. As I was sitting in the waiting room I felt like everyone was talking at a normal level, nothing crazy which surprised me for a room full of old people that can’t hear. So I went back, they cleaned out my ears, and I walked out and felt like everyone was screaming!! They all looked the same as when I left, but apparently they were all in the same boat as I was in coming into it. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself and thank God for my hearing and the constant reminder that he wants to talk to me, be with me, and guide me daily. The book Jesus Calling says, “God is far more real than the world you can see, hear and touch. Faith is the confirmation of things we do not see and conviction of their reality, perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses.”

Hebrews 11:1- Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.

It’s time now to listen.

Unfailing

Psalm 42:5 – Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again – my savior and my God!

Right now, everything in my life is going smoothly, I guess you could say I’m on my way up to the top of the mountain. Work is moving along well, relationships are continuing to grow, and all of my family seems to be in good health again. As I look at where I am now and where I see myself going I am thankful and encouraged. But when I look back to the rough areas that got me to where I am today, I realize it wasn’t me that put me back together again, it was the hope that I had in God to pull me through.

After graduating college a year ago, I was kind of in one of those awkward stages. I was still taking a couple courses but just part time. So what was I suppose to do, stay working part time or try to find a full time position? Working part time wasn’t keeping me busy enough, but working full time I thought would be too much. What a pickle! My friends began to move off, start their new chapter of life, and for some reason I felt like I was left in a hole all alone. I began job searching all over in hopes the right spot for me would open up. I looked in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, and just for giggles a couple in Colorado. I was searching these areas because I thought I wanted to live there. The key word there being "I". I once again thought I knew the plans for my life were better than anyone else could plan for me. Man was I wrong.

Jobs came up, I applied, some of which I heard back from, some I had interviews with, some that offered the position, and all I couldn’t take. There was no peace in the decision, so I knew not to move forward with it. But one day, when talking to some family I heard about a position, one that sounded like the perfect fit for me and one that would be an easy transition. I contacted the firm in the morning, had an interview that afternoon, and by that evening I was on my way beginning my first full time, real person job! I still wasn’t sure as to why I was still in Lubbock, but I was thankful that I could still be close and connected with Tech, my church, and the few close friends I still had in town.

But now, a quick 5 months later, more of the puzzle is coming together. I began dating a guy I knew while in college. He moved off for work, but a little over a month ago moved back out to West Texas. We reconnected, hit it off, and I guess you could say the rest is history. I also have had more opportunities to serve the community and college. Recently I accepted a position to serve another local university through the Christian sorority I was involved in while in college. I’m telling you, God is good. He is faithful in the big and little things in life. He blesses me daily and encourages me constantly.

Psalm 147:11- The Lord’s delight is in those who fear him, those who put their hope in his unfailing love.

I have really realized lately that your life can change in a matter of minutes. We all have those down times, where we feel alone, unsure of the future, and just basically lost and confused. But the unfailing love God has for us is all more the reason to give your life plans and desires to him to handle. The word “unfailing” is powerful. According to dictionary.com it is defined as without error or fault; reliable; constant; unceasing; and always able to supply more. God is never going to let you go, his love for you is unceasing, and just when you think he has done all he can, he gives you more. If that is not true love I don’t know what is! So I continue to praise God and put all my hope in the unceasing and constant love he has for us all.